Yea, right. That's the look I got from a friend recently. That look of disbelief. The one that is quickly followed by a forced smile and an, "I am not sure how to respond" face. She then went on to tell my why she thinks I should "just be happy with myself the way I am". Honey, if only I was happy. But I'm not. I hurt. Carrying extra weight is painful. Not just physically. Emotionally too. Physically, I have an extremely bad back. Exercise hurts but not as much as the pain of avoiding looking into a mirror. I don't want to see the person that I have become staring back at me. You see, I promised myself I would never get to X amount of weight. Then I did. So I promised myself that I would NEVER get to XX amount of weight. That I would do whatever it took to avoid it. And then I reached that weight too. Well, enough is enough. I have to make changes in order to continue to walk, to move freely on my own. In other words, I must lose weight...to carry my own weight. Will it be easy? Nope. Have I tried this before? Sure. Do I need help from my friends? Yes, Yes, a thousand times yes. So, here is my request. When you have the time, give me a few words of encouragement.
Medically, I'm sure my doctor would tell you I need to lose more than 100 pounds. While I know he is correct, I also know that looking at such a huge number at the beginning of my journey would be overwhelming to me. I'm willing to look at that number but in smaller portions that add up. I'm going to focus on weight as it comes off in increments. Smaller numbers that combined make up that number. One pound at a time, day by day. Step by step. As a reminder to myself, the weight didn't appear overnight...and it certainly won't disappear overnight. It's a journey, a rite of passage that will begin with a first step. Putting my challenges, successes and goals out here for the world to see is my first step.
I'm not the smartest person in the world, not even close. There will be errors here. I will occasionally mispell a word, splice a sentencee and I ask your forgiveness now as I admit I love commas and use them freely....and improperly. But, if you're willing to overlook my faults and still stand behind me, I welcome you into my little world.
Oh Charla, I know exactly what you're talking about. This last week has proved very depressing for me just because I stepped on a scale.
ReplyDeleteI do remember that the most successful weight loss I ever had was when I was posting weekly weigh ins (complete with measurements) on my blog. There was just something about knowing I had to post that information that motivated me to keep going.
Good luck in your journey. I like your focus of smaller goals rather than watching the overwhelming larger goal.
*hugs*
Jess